Our Manual For Others
Each time we purchase something that needs to be put together, the pieces come with a manual.
People don’t come with manuals, and manuals don’t work for people. But guess what-- we all have them. Not on paper, but in our mind.
In life coaching we describe a manual as a belief, or a set of beliefs, about how someone else should behave so that WE can feel better. We have a manual for our boss, our spouse, our children and even our parents. We have in our head thoughts about how each person is supposed to behave.
With our boss our manual may be something along the lines of: "If they would do ____ in a particular way (our way), then we could get our job done."
3 Things to Ponder:
We can’t control another person’s behavior with a manual (actually we can’t control another person’s behavior at all).
Consider letting go of all your manuals for people in your life (especially your boss).
Focus on trying to control yourself and your response to how other people behave.
When we throw away the manual for how people are supposed to behave and we let people be who they are supposed to be, we are free to have clean thoughts and accomplish our work.
Without a manual for how others should behave--we are free to get their perspective from a place of curiosity rather than taking it personally or making their behavior mean something that it doesn’t.
If you want to talk about the manual you have for others or the one that others have for you, you can reach me at: email@example.com